-
Most importantly, let them know that
you care!
-
Acknowledge and reinforce that you
are glad that they called
-
Ask them what they feel they want
or need from you in the conversation
(This lets them know that their needs are important to you.)
-
Remember that you are talking with
them, versus to them •
(There is a totally different "tone" depending on which type of
conversation you engage in.)
-
Don't judge them!
(They've had enough of that already and may be very judgmental or critical
of themselves already.)
-
Express an interest in what they're
saying without being pushing or intrusive
- Don't "talk-down" to them or "lecture"
-
Let them complete their sentence
or finish sharing their point of view before you respond
-
Remember what it was like when you
were young
(Even if it seems like it was a long time ago!)
-
Be genuine and honest
(If you're putting on an act, they'll know it!)
-
Try to avoid a simple "yes"
or "no" response to questions of keeping the information confidential
Let them know that your main priority is that they remain safe and alive.
If they continue to pursue this question, reinforce that if you can work
together for the sake of that goal, then the conversation remains confidential.
Do not make a commitment to total and unconditional confidentiality! You
may not be able to keep it and the credibility of the crisis line will be
diminished in the future, both for the caller and his/her friends.
-
Don't come across as "the expert."
(They've had enough people telling them what to do.
Now is the time to listen and work with them to come to healthier decisions.)
-
Be willing to learn about their interests
(e.g. music, activities, movies, etc.)
-
Keep the message simple, positive,
and solution focused
-
Ask for their input about what they
see, hear or are feeling.
(Their world can be pretty overwhelming at times!)
-
Be willing to listen!
(Rushing in too quickly to tell them what to do can backfire and interfere
with their willingness to listen to you later on.)
-
Consistently, and repeatedly, convey
a message of hope
-
Humor can be a useful tool in maintaining
rapport, but use it wisely!
-
Use paraphrasing to let them know
that you are hearing what they have to say and that you are empathizing
with them.
(It also ensures that you understand them correctly)
-
Don't convey a need to "move
on" in the conversation.
As long as they are talking with you, there is increased safety. (Note:
One exception could be if the caller has ingested pills. In that case, have
someone else trace the call and/or dispatch emergency personnel while you
remain on the line.) Focus on their feelings versus your own.
-
If they ask you a tough question,
be willing to say "I don't know" and that you're willing to work
with them to try and figure out some of the answers.
-
Listen to their point of view, even
if it's difficult to hear
-
Acknowledge their opinions and feelings,
while also working with them to commit to safety and life
-
Resist getting into an argument about
who is right
-
Emphasize the fact that resources
are available, that they don't have to go through this alone
-
Help them to identify options of
support in their lives
(some of which they may have forgotten about during this time of distress).
-
As much as possible, remain impartial.
(The one exception is in regards to concerns of safety for them or someone
else.)
-
Let them know that it's okay to access
help
(either for themselves, for a friend or for a family member they may concerned
about.)
-
Remind them of their own personal
worth
(even if they don't see it right now) and that what they have to offer is
something no one else could ever replace.
AND
Let them know that you sincerely
believe that they can make it through this.
This list was the result of a collaborative
effort of the QPR Institute team, all of whom have worked with young people.
