One of my most recommended books for anyone who has suffered a loss is Eda LeShan's Learning to Say Good-by. Although geared towards children, it truly is for the whole family or any individual who has experienced death and loss. I have used it for years with adults and children alike, often asking that it be read as part of a therapeutic assignment. When it is families that are impacted by loss, I ask that they read it together and then discuss it a chapter at a time, focusing on the various thoughts, feelings or memories that are triggered. For adults, I ask that they journal after each chapter, focusing on similarities of feelings that they had with the characters in the book. The key characters are usually children but, as noted in previous reviews, it is usually the child in us that is more open in the expression of grief, loss, betrayal and fear.

Some of the things that I like best about this book is that the language is simple and clear. It addresses the fears that death often triggers and the guilt that is present so often. Guilt can be present in any type of death or loss, but that same sense of guilt is often augmented when the death is the result of suicide. Normalizing of reactions and connecting with the varied emotions are all part of this book's richness.

Although written for children, the issues addressed are complicated and mature. Eda LeShan eloquently takes you through the journey of loss: the reaction(s) to first hearing the news of the death, feelings that are common for individuals to experience and to the steps associated with recovering from grief. It is a wonderful resource for people of all ages and one that will help them on the journey to healing.

Written in 1975, the teachings in "Learning to Say Good-by" are timeless. Unfortunately, the print runs are not. This book is currently out of print, but you can try to find a copy through Amazon.com (go to their "out-of-print search") or you can go to Bibliofind.com (which is an excellent resource for locating used books). The effort to locate a copy will be well worth it in the long run. I guarantee it!

Review by Vickie Watson